I have a very calm disposition in my life. Not many things get me rattled or upset. I rarely cry (except for the 14 weeks in teacher training, or anything to do with my two boys) I usually have a good sense of my emotions and keep a positive outlook in most situations. There have been many times where something that some may consider “major” has occurred where I just think and say, it’s ok, not a big deal. One example is when my Jeep was totaled from hail. My husband was angry, very upset. My though on the matter was, well it happens, the insurance will take care of it. Not a big deal at all. Sure I had to drive a rental car for weeks, but it really didn’t matter. I try to stay happy and keep my head up and be a good example for the family. I’m pretty good at it except for one emotion, control…
I like being in control of situations. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. I have a really hard time not being able to control situations. For the longest time (most of my life) I would stress out, feel anxious, and sometimes even sick when I was faced with a situation that I didn’t have full control over. Why was this happening? What can I do to have the outcome be exactly what I want it to be? Why are we faced with so many “difficult” situations in life that we have no power over? How can I change that persons mind to see things my way (haha).
It may seem silly but my lack of control even impacts what I watch on tv (when we used to have time to watch tv). I haven’t seen the last season of Breaking Bad because I don’t want to see anything bad happen. I had to stop watching the Walking Dead because the writers take it too far and main characters don’t make it. I would rather not see it then have to feel the stress of it (see silly).
We are faced with many things, on a daily basis that just happen. We have to learn how to just be and live in all situations and trust that although we may not be able to control the situation we can control our thoughts and stress over the situation. I came to realize, if I can’t control it, I need to be ok with it. The negative thoughts/feelings that came with the lack of control were poison. I had to learn to just let go and treat it like every other situation, its ok, and it will be ok and just move forward. Flipping my perspective has made me a happier person. Don’t worry about something you can’t control. Just acknowledge the feelings you have and know they are not who you are, they are how you feel at the moment and try to move forward. This is easier said than done and like everything needs to be practiced. If you find yourself not being able to release the feelings, do something to physically take your mind off of it, yoga is a good choice, or go for a walk, and get upside down!